9 month scan

 October 19 2021

It’s been over a year since the adventure with cancer began. And I’m in for my visit. It’s been 9 months since my last radiation.  And while I have definitely been improving.  It is certain that no treatment comes without a price.   I have neuropathy in my feet.  Raynaud like fingers.  Left shoulder and right hip pain and worst of all is the trouble swallowing.  Some foods just don’t want to go down  But everything comes with a price and I would take those things over dying of cancer. 

While looking for a place to document in notes I found the eulogy I wrote a year ago to save my family from writing one.  I am so grateful we did not need to use it. So unbelievably grateful.  

I haven’t felt well this past week and had a few days of fevers but my COVID negative test helped me to rally for my appointment with Dr Worth.  Psyching myself up for the scope up the nose to see if there are any lesions. 

                 this may be the quote of the week

Dr Wirth introduces the fellow with her and says he is going to do the scope.  I ask if he has ever done one and he looked at her.  I then said. It’s ok to say no.  He says no. And I say go right ahead.  He did a good job and she showed me why I should be rinsing more.   Twice a day for life.  Of course I said ok. I between my two jobs. Four kids and all the sporting events. I’m on it. 

The scope came and went and Tah Dah.  Negative.  No signs of tumors.  No cancer.  All I worked for is working. 

I got to field hockey this afternoon and one of the moms hugged me.  Apparently at our pasta party I said I am ordering things because I am manic because I am alive.  She really appreciated the sentiment.  

I have gained so much this year.   I have new friends, new view on life,  I have a new body - of course most people do this with diet and exercise.  I picked stage four nasopharyngeal cancer because it was easier.    Most importantly I have realized how many people I love dearly and how many people love me.  And in the end, that is what matters.   I have a husband and four great kids who bring me amazing joy.  I have Maureen and my mother and my aunts  who have been watching over me.  I have the tools that my father gave me to help push me through. 

Now…. It’s time to rebuild.  And we are starting with the kitchen.  Seeing as the stove is broken. The registration and garbage disposal both broke recently and we’re replaced.  I’m looking forward to this. And it will be followed by the quest for the hat!