Sharing the News

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 I’m extroverted that’s for sure and don’t have a filter.  The sharing of the news comes easy but the rath of sharing is difficult. I do not want gifts, attention or sympathy but friendship and funny stories, a bit of gossip and feeling normal is what I need” The first week was like reliving dads wake. People with tears and “I’m so sorry”  I know it’s said with such caring.  I want people to know so they may be more patient with me. Not sad for me.  I am reminded of how many people I call friend and who do the same for me. I am blessed that I have an amazing family, amazing friends a great husband and the best kids in the world. They are the reason there is no sorry but yet this is a challenge and I am Going to find my way through it. 

It’s easier in text than to relive the story so I did share with many people through text. It might be the wrong way but to relive the story over and over makes it harder. And more real. 

The letter I sent to the fetal team at workWas hard to write but tried to normalize it all.  I know now that it is not normal and my expectations are high. And I know I will need to strut through this as best I can while being realistic because the treatment, not the cancer, will kick my ass for a while but then I’ll get back up and be there for everyone and myself for a long time. 

Here is the letter I sent to my coworkers: 


Want to thank you for the patience with me over the past few weeks (approaching months).  It’s been challenging losing my dad.  I wanted to update you.   I was diagnosed with Nasopharyngeal carcinoma (a tumor Behind my nose) and will be starting chemo/radiation in a few weeks. While rare, this particular cancer usually responds well to chemo/radiation which is good news and apparently MGH has a proton beam that can target the tumor and reduce collateral damage from radiation since it is near vital and delicate parts of my body such as brain/optic nerve, spine and carotids. So this targeted therapy should reduce the risks of symptoms. 


No need to say “sorry”. I know how this email makes you feel (I feel it too) but I want you to know that I plan on working if I am physically able.  My dad always told me that when you retire you die... I am a firm believer in work helps you sleep better, gives routine and certainly in our field helping others must bring back some good karma.

So, having this rare cancer is just a drop in the bucket.  We live in the best place in the world to have to go through this and I have so much support that I know it will be a winning battle.  


As for this week, if it is ok I will definitely be in Today, Wednesday and Thursday-  but I will need Friday off to deal with meeting the oncology team at MGH.

 

Can’t wait to have 2020 over and be on the other side of all of this! 

Please let me know if what I am asking is too much and we can certainly discuss if it becomes a problem.

Thank you!

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